All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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