Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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