Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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