I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
