omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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