I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
