you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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