You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
