some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
