its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
