wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
