Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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