Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
