sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm sobbing to NWA
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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