'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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