after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
