Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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