Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
