seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
