'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
