she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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