i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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