i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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