Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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