I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
