Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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