I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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