apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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