So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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