STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
