Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
ttyl tear gas
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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