Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
