two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
