D3 body, D1 cock
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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