He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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