New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
