porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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