he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
