Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
