I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
