Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
