just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
