I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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