I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
