4 words: hood of his car
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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