Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
