Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
