Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
