so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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