Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
