How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
