I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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