Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
