Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
