Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
