she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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