is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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