Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
