I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
