So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize