Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize