Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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