Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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