honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
