there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
