I just saw a hot homeless man
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
