I must be too annoying 4 u.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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