Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
