TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
